Well-Being Begins with Self-Care

Created in collaboration with Hilary Nicholls

Regular self-care is essential to maintaining our vital life energy. We feel so much better when we take just a few minutes several times a day to turn our focus from the outside world to our inner world so that we can meet our needs for rest, nourishment and fulfillment. Self-care is opposite of being selfish, because the kinder we are to ourselves, the more we can joyously and lovingly give to others. Falling into a default mode of constantly scanning the people around us for what we think they need, want, or expect can be very depleting. Most importantly, when we lose awareness of what our own needs are, there is no possibility of fulfilling them.

Children learn from our behavior more than our words, and we want to teach them how to avoid losing touch with their own needs so they can take care of themselves throughout their lives. When we ignore caring for ourselves, we are programming the next generation to override their valid needs and desires as well.

People often say, “I simply don’t have time for self-care or meditation,” but the truth is, we need to fill our own cup first. Spending even five to ten minutes doing the simple practices below brings increased vitality, clarity and a sense of peace. When we nourish ourselves, we tap inner resources that we may we not have even known were available, and our tasks are completed with greater ease.

Simultaneously, we must also learn to set limits that honor our energy level, interests, and availability. We need to make sure we put our own well-being first, carving out time to care for ourselves so we can continue to thrive and enjoy our lives. How often do we say “yes” to something, and then later regret it? It can feel confusing when we feel like the request is for a very worthy cause or a person important to us, but saying “no” is essentially saying “yes” to ourselves—being our own best friend.

Four Self-Care Practices: A New Foundation for Wellbeing

1) Let your breath lead you to peace.

Anywhere, any time, we can use our breath to bring us back into balance. Conscious breathing can help us feel calm and present—a state that is both nurturing and fulfilling. Try this exercise:

Deep Conscious Breathing

With kindness and loving care, place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart.
Bring your awareness to your breath, slowly inhale through your nose, slowly exhale through your nose.
Be aware of the rhythm. Follow the wave of your breath, feeling it flowing through your nostrils, down into your lungs and body.
Soften your belly; it moves out when you inhale, it releases when you exhale.
Expand your inhale into the rib cage to deepen your breath; relax your shoulders and neck on the exhale.
After 3 – 5 breaths, release your hands.
Now feel the presence of the life-force flowing through your whole body. Notice the sense of calm presence within and enjoy the peace.

2) Nourish yourself by delighting your senses

We receive emotional and energetic nourishment when we savor things we take in through our senses: tastes, smells, sounds, sights, and touch. A bite of our favorite food, the scent of wildflowers on the breeze, fresh ocean air, or a warm hug can instantly shift our mood. So can smelling essential oils, slowly sipping an aromatic cup of our favorite beverage, or taking a relaxing salt bath. We need to pay attention to the things that delight us and seek out those experiences.

Savoring our meals in a relaxed fashion is one of the most important things we can do for our health. Slowing down to relish our food in a deep state of enjoyment stimulates our parasympathetic system of “rest and digest”. This allows us to take in the full benefit of the energy available from our meal in addition to its nutritional value.

Paying deep attention to color and light affects our psyche and can change our mood and physiology. We can treat ourselves to healing sounds in our homes with water fountains, chimes, a singing bowl, listening to beautiful music, singing or playing an instrument ourselves. The key is to tune in to what brings us delight, because this is what lifts our spirit and state of consciousness. In the morning, when we’re getting dressed, we can honor our first instincts for the color that will give us the most energy or pleasure that day. When we apply moisturizer or sunscreen, we can do it with love and tenderness. Showering, we can exfoliate with a loofa, feeling gratitude for the miracle of our skin, the largest organ of our body. Little conscious choices and actions that are filled with self-love combine to make a huge difference.

3) Enjoy regular gentle movement

Our bodies are designed to move, and they love to move. We need to find the best exercises for our unique constitution by paying attention to how we feel while we’re engaged in the activity, as well as afterwards. Do we feel peaceful and grounded? If our exercise was strenuous, do we feel invigorated or tired afterwards? The best exercise helps us gain energy over time and is not depleting.

While we move our bodies on the outside, there are amazing benefits to those movements inside. Our energy pathways, long recognized as acupuncture meridians, connect us to the field of energy all around us. All beneficial exercise clears and energizes this field.

Move in a way you enjoy most. Whether it’s hiking, yoga, chi-gong, dance, swimming, or lifting free-weights, consistency is key and how you feel is the most important thing. If you work with a teacher or trainer, make sure they inspire you, are sensitive to your needs, and that you like how you feel when you’re around them.

Trust the choices that feel good to your body. It’s never too late to rediscover what activities make our hearts sing and nourish our body, mind, and heart. We can rediscover what brings us joy and cultivates our inner resources at any age.

4) Harness the beauty of nature.

Our bodies are naturally attuned to the elements of nature because we are made of the same elements. Natural beauty helps our bodies relax and be open to receive. It is food for our souls. The sound of birds singing, the scent of a flower on the breeze, the sight of waves cresting and rolling onto the beach—are all food for our well-being. When we slow down and drink in our surroundings, nature helps us shift gears and return to calm. A few minutes in nature is an act of self-love and care, so take some time for it every day.

Nature-based guided meditations are a great way to use our imaginations to bring ourselves into beautiful, natural environments that nourish our heart and soul. Our body responds exactly the same way to visualizations as if we were physically there. Our subconscious doesn’t know the difference between a so-called ‘real’ experience and an imagined one, so we can receive many of the same benefits and peaceful state as if we were physically present in this environment. As your breath slows and deepens, let the images, scents and sounds that you’d enjoy on a walk out in nature permeate your being.

With practice, as we arise from meditation, we can learn to retain a sense of peace and feel more comfortable in our own skin. There’s a sense of ‘everything is OK’, and we feel at ease with life as it is. We recognize that the qualities of nature we love so much are reflected in ourselves—they are all within us, and we are part of the whole.

Try this 15-minute nature-based self-care meditation Hilary made specifically to go with this resource. The benefits of practicing these types of meditations are cumulative. If done regularly, they will raise your vital life force energy. The benefits will help you throughout your whole day, every day.

Read Myra’s profile to learn more about Hilary Nicholls

For information on private healing sessions with Hilary, please contact her at hilarynicholls@att.net or visit her website.