Looking for Luck
My contemplations about luck began ten years ago, while I was collecting information about my deceased father for Quest for Eternal Sunshine: A Holocaust Survivor’s Journey from Darkness to Light— a book about my dad’s life and healing journey. Some of the richest material came from my sister Ruthie, who had the incredible foresight to record some of the conversations she had with our father in the early 1990s. One of them took place the evening he returned from running errands in Carmel—a busy little town that is very popular with tourists.
Our dad told Ruthie that when he arrived at the post office, he was surprised to find a parking space right in front. Usually he had to drive around for quite some time until he found a spot. In fact, there was even an empty space next to his, which was quickly taken by an older woman who appeared to be in her mid-eighties.
While our father was mailing his letters, the white-haired lady walked over to him, her face lighting up the room with a huge, radiant smile. “We are so lucky!” she declared. Puzzled, he asked why. “Because we found such wonderful parking spaces!” she replied.
“This woman’s bright eyes and unforgettable smile stayed with me all day long,” our father told Ruthie, with much wonderment in his voice. “It felt like she’d given me a message from heaven: Just believe you are lucky, and it will be confirmed.”
For a few hours, our dad kept repeating to myself, ‘I am so lucky! I am so lucky!’ Almost immediately, he began to see his good fortune everywhere. He also spent time looking back on his life through eyes searching for luck, which made him think about the countless times he should have died, but something fortuitous happened that saved his life.
“I’ve gotten so many breaks—hundreds, if not thousands,” he told Ruthie. “All of a sudden, I realized that I was one of the luckiest guys alive.”
Myra’s sister Ruthie (left) with their parents, Mendek and Edith Rubin
Hearing this recording, I was astonished. How could our father—who beginning at 17 managed to survive three horrendous years as a starved, brutalized prisoner in Nazi forced labor concentration camps while almost his entire family was murdered in Auschwitz—view himself as exceptionally lucky? Could simply looking through eyes searching for good fortune dramatically transform anyone’s experience of living in this world?
Intrigued, I began experimenting with my father’s mantra—“I am so lucky!”—and did indeed discover that when I set out looking for luck, I was suddenly able to detect so much of it.
What especially fascinated me was how many lucky coincidences started out as disappointments or inconveniences. For example, I’d realize I’d forgotten my water bottle after settling into the car. Groaning in annoyance, I’d dig my keys out of my bag and go back into the house only to discover that I’d accidentally left the fridge door open. If I hadn’t been forced to return, it would have stayed that way all day, wasting precious electricity and food. Was that simply random good luck, or was the universe bestowing a favor upon me?
Most scientists don’t view luck as a magical force, but simply as chance—random events that just happen to bring favor or harm. Yet they acknowledge that what we call luck is often influenced by our psychological and behavioral patterns.
British psychologist and former magician, Richard Wiseman, did a deep dive into the phenomenon of luck. His research included interviews with several hundred people who described themselves as either “extremely lucky” or “extremely unlucky.” In his book, The Luck Factor, Wiseman concludes that most of what we consider to be good luck is self-produced. He offers the following “Four Essential Principles” that he found lucky people embody that can help everyone generate more good luck:
1. Maximize chance opportunities.
Lucky people notice, create, and act upon chance opportunities. They tend to be more extroverted and resilient, positioning themselves in situations where serendipity can strike. For example, a “lucky person” strikes up a conversation in a coffee line that leads to a new job.
2. Listen to your intuition.
Lucky people make successful decisions by listening to their intuition and trusting their gut feelings. For example, a person declines a job offer despite good pay because they sense it is a wrong fit, and later finds something more ideal.
3. Expect good fortune.
People who feel lucky expect good things to happen in their lives, which leads to persistence in the face of setbacks and helps them notice and seize opportunities that a pessimist might miss. For example, someone with an optimistic mindset keeps applying after multiple rejections, and eventually lands their dream job.
4. Turn bad luck into good.
People who feel lucky are able to see the positive side of bad events instead of dwelling on failure. They take constructive steps to avoid future problems, and view setbacks as learning opportunities or potential stepping-stones to something better. For example, getting laid off prompts a “lucky person” to gain new skills or explore a different path, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling career they wouldn’t have otherwise pursued.
In astrology, the planet Jupiter is known as the “Great Benefic” because it is associated with expansion, growth, wisdom, and good fortune. When Jupiter is prominent in a person’s chart, they are expected to be lucky.
But astrologers have different views about how the luck associated with Jupiter works. The question is this: Does a prominent Jupiter make someone objectively lucky with more than their fair share of good fortune, or does it just make them feel lucky, which gives them the optimism, confidence, and persistence to pursue more opportunities and attract better outcomes?
Many prominent spiritual teachers don’t view luck as random. Deepak Chopra ties luck to being present, trusting your intuition, and staying in the flow and open to signs from the universe. He says, “The more tuned in you are to the energy of the universe, the more synchronicity—or what people call ‘luck’—shows up in your life.”
Gabrielle Bernstein—who has sold millions of books that explain the principles of conscious manifestation—believes that when you set clear intentions and are in alignment with your highest self, you’re able to co-create with a greater intelligence to manifest the good fortune you are seeking.
Yet one thing I notice about life is that often not getting what we want feels devastating in the short term, but turns out to be very fortuitous in the long term, and vice versa. There is an ancient parable about an old Chinese farmer that beautifully illustrates this truth:
Long ago in a quiet village, there lived a humble farmer known for his calm demeanor and quiet wisdom. He lived a simple life with his son and a single horse, which he depended on for tilling his fields.
One day, the horse broke through the fence and ran off into the hills. The neighbors came rushing to offer sympathy. “What a terrible loss,” they said. The farmer simply shrugged and said, “Perhaps.”
A few days later, the runaway horse returned—this time leading three wild horses back to the farm. “What incredible luck!” the neighbors cried. “Perhaps,” the farmer replied.
The following morning, the farmer’s son tried to train one of the new horses. The animal bucked and threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbors returned, shaking their heads. “Such misfortune,” they murmured. The farmer only said, “Perhaps.”
Soon after, soldiers came to the village, conscripting every able-bodied young man for war. When they saw the farmer’s son laid up with a broken leg, they moved on. The neighbors rejoiced. “How fortunate your son was injured!” The farmer nodded softly. “Perhaps.”
The Dalai Lama summed this up perfectly when he said, “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
While I continue to ponder the nature of luck, I intend to follow in my father’s footsteps by choosing to view life through eyes that actively seek out good fortune. Even though the message my dad felt he received from heaven—“Just believe you are lucky, and it will be confirmed”—could be viewed as an example of what psychologists call a confirmation bias (the tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that confirms what we believe, while ignoring or dismissing evidence that contradicts it), the results of this orientation to life yield such positive outcomes.
Just like a regular gratitude practice, looking for luck can help override our inborn negativity bias—the tendency to give more weight to negative experiences, emotions, or information than to positive ones—a stubborn pattern which likely evolved as a survival mechanism to keep humans vigilant about threats.
My father became one of the happiest and most peaceful people I have ever met by working incredibly hard to retrain his mind to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Over time, the nature of the world he perceived seemed to transform, becoming increasingly more “congenial and pleasing.” He wrote, “It felt something like this: I went to the store to buy apples, but I got oranges instead. Soon I realized that it was indeed oranges that I needed. Apparently, instead of getting what I thought I wanted, I got what I actually needed.”
And perhaps that’s as good a definition of luck as any: not getting what we think we want, but receiving exactly what we truly need.
