Plug into Presence
Every Tuesday morning I receive an email with an intriguing writing prompt from my writing mentor, Laura Davis. I always respond to them in my head, if not on paper. A while back, the prompt was, “Write a letter to a great, great, great, great grandchild, or to another child living far off in the future. Impart your hard-fought wisdom about what truly matters in life.” My response surfaced at lightning speed: “I hope you’re not spending your life glued to a screen.”
Unfortunately, current statistics confirm my concerns. The time Americans spend on their digital devices continues to rise, and is now on track to surpass eight hours per day in 2022—half of our waking hours!
I’m revisiting this important issue today because it’s National Day of Unplugging—a not-for-profit awareness campaign that promotes an annual 24-hour break from technology to help people gain a better appreciation for the role technology plays in their lives and help them establish healthier habits. I want to help promote this initiative because setting boundaries with technology is especially challenging. We rely on it for so many things, and it’s purposefully designed to lure us in like a fish on the line.
Unfortunately, so much tech engagement isn’t making us healthier or happier. It’s increasingly disconnecting us from the “real” world and our natural rhythms, affecting both how we connect with each other and ourselves. Best-selling author and psychotherapist, Lori Gottlieb, has spoken about how she notices that when people feel alone they pick up devices to run away from that feeling. “In a state of perpetual distraction, [people] seemed to be losing the ability to be with others and losing their ability to be with themselves.”
Liam Walsh New Yorker cartoon, 2013
Scrolling through news and social media while texting friends can seem relaxing, but it actually stresses our brains and nervous systems. Heavy media tasking-switching (such as alternating between social media, texts and emails) is linked to declines in memory and shortened attention spans. Intense engagement with social media is linked to rising rates of anxiety and depression, as well as to the rapid spread of misinformation and the amplification of prejudice.
Micah Mortali, author of Rewilding, encourages us to take a break from social media when we’re outdoors. “Resist the urge to capture the moments with a photo on your phone. See if you can enjoy something special and private and not share it with the world. How is the experience different when it is not connected to an experience of being validated, judged, or simply known by a larger social network?”
Choosing to take time offline doesn’t need to be all or nothing. Although a 24-hour tech cleanse yields huge benefits, any breaks and boundaries are extremely helpful. I’ve been trying to take one multiple hour break from my devices every day, put them away during dinner, and resist checking them before going to bed. My husband leaves his phone face down so it can’t constantly hijack his attention.
Liam Walsh New Yorker cartoon, 2013
Mindfulness and meditation teacher, Katie Dutcher, advises us to fully embrace the pauses in our lives without giving in to our reflective instinct to look at our phones. “Standing in line or waiting at a light can be a time when you practice mindfulness and get grounded in the here and now. Take a few deep breaths, following your inhales and exhales. Bring your attention to how your body feels, becoming aware of your feet on the ground. Try focusing on the sounds you hear, both those that are near and those that are far away. You can look around for beauty or laughter, and savor what you see.”
Personally, I’m working on establishing new patterns in terms of my response time to texts and emails. I was so happy to get this auto-reply the other day from the spiritual life coach, Bonnie Wirth: “Your email is important to me and so are you! To serve you mindfully, and with loving care as well as to honor my rhythms of energy work, family, play, creativity and rest, please allow 24-72 hours for my reply. I promise to get back to you as soon as possible.”
"Mobile Relationship" by Manu Cornet
I’ll leave you with a funny, but thought-provoking, 54-second video of a Jerry Seinfeld standup routine called Device Dictatorship. And if you’re contemplating a tech break, please check out our comprehensive Quest for Eternal Sunshine Tech Detox Day Guide!
