Myra’s new grandson, Elián, with her 93-year-old mother, Edith

Today is my 58th birthday. Reflecting back on the past year, I feel extremely grateful for many things, especially the birth of my beloved grandson, Elián, who turned ten months earlier this week. Also topping my list is the new ritual I established exactly one year ago today during the height of the pandemic, when I gave myself the birthday gift of a full day offline—a much needed break from my screens, as well as from the relentless avalanche of bad news. It had been over six years since I’d been totally offline for 24-hours, and the dramatic difference of living a whole day untethered to technology made me vow to take every single Sunday offline from then on.

Now, with fifty-two consecutive Sundays under my belt, I’m more enthusiastic about the importance of tech detox days than ever before. Instead of being drawn into a device that speeds up my already overly busy mind as I try to keep up with emails, text messages and distracting notifications, my offline days are filled with hearty helpings of quiet stillness. Time slows down. I breathe more deeply. I get the chance to reconnect with myself and my surroundings.

To encourage others to give tech detox days a try, I created a beautiful, comprehensive 18-page Technology Detox Day Guide rich in information to motivate, inspire and support people as they embark on cultivating a more conscious, intentional relationship with the technological devices that are meant to serve us rather than rule us. Days offline also remind us that recharging ourselves is at least as important as recharging our phones, and helps us establish a foundation of calm we can return to with increasing ease.

While technology brings countless benefits, it also is extremely addictive and can overtake our lives in both obvious and insidious ways. While my iPhone miraculously enabled me to see my new grandson the very night he was born, and nine months later allowed me to witness him stand for the first time moments after it happened, it’s also led to increased separation rather than connection by distracting me from being fully present in the real world in the present moment.

My daughter and her wife understood this when they made the rule that no one could use their phone while holding Elián for his first three months. What a gift this was! Instead of scrolling through my Instagram feed while he was asleep in my arms, I just gazed at him—a calming and heartwarming meditation on peace, love and the miracle of life.

Because I’m so passionate about this topic, I am thrilled that Katie Dutcher —a long-time and highly skilled meditation and mindfulness teacher, as well as one of my key Quest for Eternal Sunshine collaborators—is launching a free “Tech Freedom Challenge” for her own online community using Quest’s Tech Detox Day Guide, and she’s inviting all of us to join. The communal day offline will be on Sunday, December 12, but she will be prepping us for an entire week beforehand by emailing us simple, but very illuminating, daily invitations to help raise our awareness about our habitual relationship with technology. She will also be hosting an optional live call on Monday, December 13, for people who want to share their reflections and get additional tips for how to keep up with tech boundaries once the challenge is over.

Mindfulness and meditation teacher, Katie Dutcher

“The shadow side of our use of technology is rooted in its addictive design,“ Katie explains. “Most of us don't seem to be able to maintain personal power over when, how long, and in what capacity and context we are using our devices. We get sucked in, often without even knowing it. Although I don’t see us throwing our phones into the ocean and going back to simpler times, it’s important that we figure out how to engage responsibly with technology so that we can maintain our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.”

Katie is encouraging participants to ask why it’s important for them to change their tech habits—what’s in it for them? “Change happens when we’re positively and intrinsically motivated, less so when we feel shame or obligation. The dire research about what technology is doing to our brains is informative, but our most compelling motivation will be sourced by connecting with our deepest and truest desires.”

Inspired by a line in one of her favorite poems by Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day,” that asks what we want to do with our one wild and precious life, Katie advises us to look within and ponder the following:

How do I want to spend my limited time on this beautiful planet?
What activities bring me joy and put me into the flow of life?
What is going on in the real, tangible world right now that I want to dive into?

In her own life, Katie has noticed that when she spends big chunks of time offline, she tends to create instead of consume. She walks, bakes bread, sings songs, and even finds time to tie-dye! “Creating is fun, life-affirming, celebratory, and a key part of being human.” She says. “Conversely, consuming the content that someone else has created and posted—especially consuming it mindlessly and indiscriminately—puts me in reactive-mode rather than empowered-mode. So it is in service of joy and aliveness that I am working with my own tech habits and finding ways to inspire others to do the same.”

Katie explains that our use of our devices is based on habit, and one of the most salient strategies to change habits is to start small. “Big change is possible when we move in small steps and never stop. Our use of technology over the course of a day is made up of small choices: pick up the phone or not, sleeping with it right beside us, check the weather on our phones as intended and then put it down, or get lost checking up an alert.”

That said, Katie has also discovered that making a big change can help us clear out old habits and open our eyes to a new way of being. “A full day offline can really help to jolt us out of our habitual routine, raise awareness, and offer us a chance to learn.”

I’m excited to take part Katie’s “Tech Freedom Challenge”, and I love the timing—a perfect way to get calm and centered right before the holidays. I hope you’ll join us!

Savoring Your Precious Life