What We Gain When We Unplug
I recently did something completely ordinary that felt surprisingly extraordinary: I taught my 7-year-old grandson how to play solitaire with a deck of cards at his wooden kitchen table. The week before, I’d shown him Spider Solitaire on my iPad, and he’d loved it. Once he got the hang of it, the game moved fast—no shuffling, no dealing, and his win was celebrated by an exciting explosion of digital cards.
Before my next visit, I searched my hall closet until I found a long-neglected deck of cards. I knew my grandson and I were at a crossroads: we could continue with electronic games on a touch screen, or we could switch to “real” cards that would need to be shuffled and couldn’t be arranged in a fraction of a second.
My impetus to switch to a real deck stemmed from nostalgia that recently struck me as I’d watched my husband playing solitaire on his iPhone. Pulling my attention away from my own device, I reminisced about how much fun we used to have playing games together before screens became our default solo entertainment. We’d laugh and chat while playing Hearts, Spades, Rummy, backgammon, mancala, or Scrabble—sometimes for hours on end.
“Real” solitaire with my grandson turned out to be a fun experience that felt remarkably wholesome. While digital solitaire is quicker and more convenient, it doesn’t improve small motor skills or foster patience and human connection. Resisting the convenience that screens continually offer felt emancipating and rewarding.
I’m focusing on the far-reaching impacts of our tech devices this week—and what we gain when we’re able to resist their lure—because today, March 7, is Global Day of Unplugging, an initiative with the important mission of elevating human connection over digital engagement. Whether for one hour or 24, the goal is to encourage people everywhere to unplug from their screens and create meaningful moments by diving into offline activities that foster in-person connections—like real card games together, versus digital cards alone.
Sometimes I imagine how drastically different today’s world would seem if I’d been able to time-travel here from just twenty years ago. How stunned I would be to see people everywhere transfixed by small, sleek, glass-screened hand-held devices! I’d be astonished to discover the scope of what phones can do now—how they serve as portals to an endless stream of entertainment, instant video communication, shopping, banking, navigation, photography, videography, health and fitness tracking, and so much more. But I know my awe would simultaneously be coupled with dismay and concern about how much time and attention these devices are claiming.
The average person in the United States spends about 4 hours and 45 minutes of non-work or school-related time on their phones every day—a figure that has been rising consistently every year. More than half the population sleep with their phones, and 46% of U.S. teenagers report being online “almost constantly.”
Experts caution that excessive screen time and frequent content and task switching are making us more distractible, shortening our attention spans, and keeping our brains in a heightened state of alertness, leading to increased anxiety and stress. It’s also becoming clear that the algorithms designed to maximize engagement for profit are deepening social divisions and amplifying outrage.
With my naturally busy mind and heightened sensitivity to distressing news and overstimulation, I suspect I may feel the negative impacts of our phone-centered culture more than most. The steady influx of texts, emails, and global news pull me in way too many directions, disrupting my natural rhythm, depleting my energy, and keeping me stuck in my head in the fast-swirling realm of thought. As I work so hard to embrace a calmer, more peaceful way of life by trying to stay grounded in my body in the present moment, extended breaks from my devices have become essential to my self-growth and self-care.
I took my first day offline on my birthday in 2020 to counter my burnout and overwhelm during the peak of COVID pandemic stress. That break was so incredibly restful, restorative and grounding, I’ve been taking every Sunday offline ever since.
The benefits of my tech vacations are so powerful that they motivated me to create our Quest for Eternal Sunshine Tech Detox Guide, which provides information, motivation and advice for taking a full 24-hour break. But even for those who aren’t interested in unplugging for a whole day, the guide has tips that can help us set better boundaries with our phones—something that will likely get harder over time as new, irresistible offerings become available that utilize the incredible power of AI.
So on Global Day of Unplugging, here are a few practices that have helped me increase my awareness of my relationship with my phone so that it can serve me, not control me. I hope you find them helpful as well!
Embrace mini-moments of mindful presence. During times when you might habitually look at your phone—perhaps standing in line, waiting on hold or for a light to change, or eating a snack—simply be present. Focus your awareness on your internal feelings and sensations while peacefully observing the world around you.
Notice other people looking at their phones. As we take natural pauses throughout the day to relax and be mindful, observe how many people have their eyes glued to their screens and notice how it impacts how they do or don’t relate to the outside world. Seeing the addictive nature of phones in our society can help us feel motivated to liberate ourselves from their powerfully hypnotic qualities.
Notice the strength of your phone’s lure. How often do you check your phone? Do you pick it up reflectively, or only when you truly need to initiate communication or do something important? Can you resist picking it up when you realize the urge is purely habitual?
Stay aware of how your body feels while using your phone. For me, this is quite a challenging task that helps illustrate how quickly our energy moves up to our heads when we’re interacting with screens.
Set firm boundaries. Protect sacred time and relationships by making some rules and sticking to them, like no devices at the dinner table, in the bedroom, or while cooking, walking the dog, or playing with kids.
Out of sight, out of mind. Putting your phone in a drawer, covering it with a book, or simply turning it upside down can have a huge impact.
Give your brain and nervous systems a much-needed rest. Fully disconnecting from your device for even a couple of hours every day makes a positive impact, and you can plan ahead and schedule longer blocks offline regularly. If you need help preparing or getting motivated, check out our Quest for Eternal Sunshine tech detox guide.
As Rick Rubin writes in The Creative Act, “Because there’s an endless amount of data available to us and we have a limited bandwidth to conserve, we might consider carefully curating the quality of what we allow in.”
