Trudy Goodman’s Journey to the Present Moment
Today, I am especially thrilled to share Trudy Goodman with you. My wise, radiant, generous cousin is a beloved meditation and mindfulness teacher, a pioneer in the role of mindfulness in psychotherapy, and the founder of InsightLA, whose marvelous motto during this pandemic is, “We can’t go out, so let’s go in!”
The journey continues!
— Myra
Perspectives on Healing
What stuck with Trudy most after reading Quest for Eternal Sunshine, was “Mendek’s Prayer” in which he refers to the storms of his everyday existence—his sadness, loneliness, and fears—being the springboard to awaken him to a wisdom greater than his own.
Trudy’s odyssey in life has been analogous to a turbulent ocean crossing filled with unanticipated, treacherous storms. Looking back, she says her experiences of loss and grief strengthened her, deepening her compassion for other people’s struggles. Meditation and mindfulness, coupled with her determination to keep an open heart, enabled Trudy to heal and live a joyous life.
Trudy was born in Boston in 1945, the eldest of three children. “I was a sensitive child,” she told me, “I remember observing the adults around me and being able to tell who was in pain and who was happy.” Throughout her teenage years, Trudy continued to be a keen observer of this life, gripped by existential questions: What is the meaning of me? Why am I here?
Married right out of college, Trudy gave birth to her daughter, Hilary, when she was twenty-two. “I had my first spiritual opening while laboring alone in the hospital. As the white tiled walls turned blue at twilight, I suddenly realized how all of life is infinitely connected in every dimension simultaneously. Everyone is connected to everyone else.”
Two years later, when Trudy was living abroad as a divorced single mother in Geneva, Hilary developed a virulent form of bacterial spinal meningitis and was in a coma for over a week. Trudy was told to call in her family because her two-year-old daughter was dying.
“I sat watching while a team of six doctors bent over Hilary’s tiny body, all focused on saving her life. At that moment, I had a powerful experience of seeing God. I knew then that God is manifest in our world as this very activity of compassion, love and tenderness. It was unforgettable.”
While Hilary recovered in the hospital for two months, slowly regaining her health, Trudy was constantly questioning: Why do terrible things happen? Why do children have to suffer?
Back in the United States, Trudy got a graduate degree in childhood development from Harvard, where she befriended some students who were practicing yoga and meditation.
“There was a Korean Zen master they wanted me to meet. Although his English was poor and the things he said he said were extremely simple, I could see in his eyes that he had the knowledge I’d been searching for my entire life. It brought me to tears. I began to study with him, and that’s when I started to meditate.”
But meditating was frustrating. Trudy’s mind zoomed at full speed from one thought to another, and only began to settle down after two years of psychotherapy.
“Many of the things that came up in my meditation needed to be worked through in therapy. Therapy was essential for me, but alone it wouldn’t have been enough. I needed meditation to explore life’s most profound questions.”
This powerful synergy between psychotherapy and meditation became Trudy’s life’s work. As a psychotherapist, she joined a study group of meditating clinicians who wrote the book, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy together—the first, and still one of the best, clinical books on the subject.
Trudy met her second husband—a well-known Zen master with matching interests— after being a single mother for ten years. In 1995, they became co-founders of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy—the very first organization dedicated to exploring the interface between those two disciplines.
For fifteen years, Trudy’s life was totally intertwined with her husband’s. He adopted her teenage daughter, whose father had died from suicide. They worked and taught together, sharing colleagues and friends.
“For a few years, I sensed weird energies coming from certain women in our community. I would repeatedly wonder what was going on, and my husband would kindly explain why my doubts were unfounded. I believed him. But it turned out that he’d been sleeping with them.”
Leaving her second marriage felt like a death to Trudy—as if she’d jumped off a cliff into the unknown. Losing the family and Zen community they built together was devastating. “The breakup was public and humiliating. People were gossiping about what a mortal wound this was for me, wondering if I would even survive.”
As she picked up the pieces, Trudy decided this was the time to follow a longtime dream and “hit the Dharma trail”—a long silent retreat followed by a trip to Asia for intensive meditation practices. She returned to the States only to support Hilary, now thirty-two, happily married and pregnant.
Trudy grieved deeply for several years. Meditating was her refuge. It brought her a profound acceptance of impermanence—the deep knowing that nothing can last forever, even intensely awful, persistent emotions. “Learning to sit through unbearable feelings was a declaration of strength. I knew I could free my heart.”
Because Trudy had overridden her intuition during her marriage, she embarked on a mindfulness practice aimed at rebuilding trust in herself. She listened to the messages being communicated through her dreams, desires, and meditation retreats, determined never to abandon her own truth again.
After falling in love with Hilary’s baby—her granddaughter—Trudy realized she wanted to relocate to Los Angeles where most of her family was living. It was in California that Trudy decided to devote herself fully and wholeheartedly to teaching meditation.
Trudy had no friends or connections in Los Angeles. In the early days of her sitting group, only two people showed up. She worked hard to spread the word, and did everything herself. She was the teacher, cushion schlepper, and snack provider. “My to-do list was endless. But people kept joining and my group grew.”
From living rooms to community centers around the city, InsightLA was born. Twenty years later, they have three beautiful centers that teach thousands of people every year. They offer programs with renowned mindfulness teachers, including Jack Kornfield. Jack—Trudy’s teaching colleague and dear friend for decades—is now her beloved husband. They have built a joyous life together that includes three wonderful grandchildren.
Trudy with her grandchildren, Jack Kornfield (Trudy’s husband), Drew Goodman (Myra’s husband) Marea Goodman (Myra’ daughter) and Myra — January 1, 2015
One of the messages Trudy wants to share with you is that healing is possible for everybody. “You can recover from even the most devastating losses when you are willing to learn about who you most truly are, and are open to an awareness that extends way beyond our limited, individual self to encompass the entire world. That same feeling of connection and unity that Mendek discovered on his quest for eternal sunshine has been the source of so much inspiration, energy, and happiness in my life. I am endlessly grateful.”
Meditation, Mindfulness & Lovingkindness Resources
Created in cooperation with Trudy Goodman, founder of InsightLA
During this pandemic, while we strive to protect our physical bodies with hand washing and physical distancing, we also need to carefully tend to our inner life so we can remain calm, flexible and resilient. Thanks to Trudy Goodman—a meditation teacher for more than forty years—we have we have a wonderful new resource called Meditation, Mindfulness & Lovingkindness.
“Fortunately,” Trudy assures us, “Meditation and mindfulness are powerful practices that can help us stay clear, strong and open-hearted, soothe our fears, and help with the discomfort of being cooped up for so long.”
Both Trudy and my father, Mendek Rubin, emphasize how transmittable thoughts are. Peaceful, kind, and optimistic thoughts propagate more of the same, while fearful, anxious thoughts perpetrate more fear and dread. Choosing to propagate positive thoughts benefits both ourselves and everyone around us. There is no time like the present to start a meditation practice!
