Trudy Goodman’s Journey to the Present Moment
Trudy Goodman—my wise, radiant, and generous cousin—is a Harvard-trained psychotherapist and internationally respected meditation and mindfulness teacher. She was a trailblazer in integrating mindfulness with psychotherapy, and she founded the thriving meditation community, InsightLA, in 2002. It’s an honor to be able to share some of Trudy’s fascinating and inspiring life story with you.
Trudy was born in Boston in 1945, the eldest of three. “I was a sensitive child,” she told me, “I remember observing the adults around me and being able to tell who was in pain and who was happy.” Throughout her teenage years, Trudy continued to be a keen observer of this life, perennially gripped by existential questions: Why am I here? What is the meaning of me?
Married right out of college, Trudy gave birth to her daughter, Hilary, when she was twenty-two. “I had my first spiritual opening laboring alone in the hospital. As the white tiled walls turned blue at twilight, I suddenly realized how all of life is infinitely connected in every dimension simultaneously. Everyone is connected to everyone else.”
Two years later, when Trudy was living abroad as a divorced single mother in Geneva, Switzerland, two-year-old Hilary developed a virulent form of bacterial spinal meningitis and was in a coma for over a week. Trudy was told to call in her family because her daughter was dying.
“I watched a team of six doctors bend over Hilary’s tiny body, all focused on saving her life. At that moment, I had a powerful experience of seeing God. I knew then that God is manifest in our world as this very activity of compassion, love and tenderness. It was unforgettable.”
While her baby stayed in the hospital for two months slowly regaining her health, Trudy found herself constantly asking: Why do terrible things happen? Why do children have to suffer?
These questions continued to plague Trudy after her returning to the United States. While earning a graduate degree in childhood development from Harvard, she used to do yoga with her childhood friend Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn. “There was a Korean Zen master he wanted me to meet. Although his English was poor and the things he said were extremely simple, I could see in his eyes that he had the knowledge I’d been searching for my entire life. It brought me to tears. I began to study with him, and that’s when I started to meditate.”
Trudy with her first Zen teacher, Ven. Seung Sahn, circa 1987
But Trudy found meditation to be frustrating. Her mind zoomed at full speed from one thought to another, and only began to settle down after two years of psychotherapy. “Many of the things that came up in my meditation needed to be worked through in therapy. Therapy was essential for me, but alone it wouldn’t have been enough. I needed meditation to explore life’s most profound questions.”
This powerful synergy between psychotherapy and meditation became Trudy’s life’s work. As a psychotherapist, she joined a study group of meditating clinicians who wrote the first clinical book on the subject, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy.
Trudy met her second husband, a well-known Zen master with matching interests, after being a single mother for ten years. In 1995, Dr. Phil Aranow invited them to co-found the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy—the very first organization dedicated to exploring the interface between those two disciplines.
For fifteen years, Trudy’s life was totally intertwined with her husband’s. He adopted her teenage daughter, whose father died by suicide. They worked and taught together, sharing colleagues and friends.
“For a few years, I sensed weird energies coming from certain women in our community. I would repeatedly wonder what was going on, and my husband would kindly explain why my doubts were unfounded. I believed him. But it turned out that he’d been sleeping with them.”
Leaving her second marriage felt like a death to Trudy—as if she’d jumped off a cliff into the unknown. Losing the family and Zen community they built together was devastating. “The breakup was public and humiliating. People were gossiping about what a mortal wound this was for me, wondering if I would even survive.”
As she picked up the pieces, Trudy decided this was the time to follow a longtime dream and “hit the Dharma trail”—a long silent retreat followed by a trip to Asia for intensive meditation practices. She returned to the States only to support her daughter Hilary, now thirty-two, happily married, and pregnant.
Trudy grieved deeply for several years. Meditating was her refuge. It brought her a profound acceptance of impermanence—the deep knowing that nothing can last forever, even intensely awful, persistent emotions. “Learning to sit through unbearable feelings was a declaration of strength. I knew I could free my heart.”
Because Trudy had overridden her intuition during her marriage, she embarked on a mindfulness practice aimed at rebuilding trust in herself. Determined never to abandon her own truth again, she listened to and honored the messages being communicated through her dreams, desires, and meditations.
After falling in love with her granddaughter, Trudy realized she wanted to relocate to Los Angeles where most of her family was living. It was in California that Trudy decided to devote herself fully and wholeheartedly to teaching meditation.
Trudy had no friends or connections in Los Angeles. In the early days of her sitting group, only two people showed up. She worked hard to spread the word, and did everything herself. She was the teacher, cushion schlepper, and snack provider. “My to-do list was endless. But people kept joining and the group grew.”
Trudy with her grandchildren, Jack Kornfield (Trudy’s husband), Drew Goodman (Myra’s husband) Marea Goodman (Myra’ daughter) and Myra — January 1, 2015
From living rooms to community centers around the city, InsightLA was born. Twenty-three years later, they have two beautiful centers that teach thousands of people every year. They offer programs with renowned mindfulness teachers, including Jack Kornfield. Jack—Trudy’s teaching colleague and dear friend for decades—is now her beloved husband. They have built a joyous life together that includes three wonderful grandchildren.
One of Trudy’s central messages is that healing is possible for everybody. “You can recover from even the most devastating losses when you are willing to learn about who you most truly are, and are open to a loving awareness that extends way beyond our limited, individual self to encompass the entire world. I feel endlessly grateful.”
Meditation, Mindfulness & Lovingkindness Resources
Created in cooperation with Trudy Goodman
No matter what is happening in the world around us, we need to carefully tend to our inner life so we can remain calm, flexible and resilient. “Fortunately,” Trudy assures us, “Meditation and mindfulness are powerful practices that can help us stay calm, clear, strong and open-hearted.” Thanks to Trudy Goodman—a meditation teacher for more than forty years—we have a wonderful resource: Meditation, Mindfulness & Lovingkindness.
