Leo—my family’s extra-sweet and quirky fox-colored yellow lab—turns four today, which means it’s time for the fourth installment of “Lessons from Leo.” I feel enormously grateful for our adorable pup, who brings much joy and entertainment into our lives while continually teaching me important life lessons.
Read MoreTomorrow marks eleven years since my remarkable father passed away, just shy of his 88th birthday. Because my experience of his death and the connection I felt with his spirit was so profound, years later, when I wrote my introduction to Quest for Eternal Sunshine, I began the book with a description of his final days.
Read MoreWith Father’s Day fast approaching, I’ve been thinking about the fathers in my life, and the different ways they love their children. Reminiscing about my relationship with my father, I am struck by the fact that he never seemed to care about my accomplishments in the outside world.
Read MoreThe most helpful and transformative relationship advice I’ve ever received came from Dr. Becky Kennedy, the clinical psychologist and parenting expert who I’ve written about twice before. It’s a principle she calls “multiplicity” or “two things are true” mentality, which means being open to two or more seemingly oppositional realities being true at the same time.
Read MoreAt her essence, my mother is one of the most magnificent people I have ever known, but her life has been shaped by extreme, unresolved trauma. Despite how tender I feel toward her, I’ve simultaneously been experiencing a persistent drive to unearth and transform my emotional inheritance, as if my mother’s pending release from this life has to power to accelerate my own liberation.
Read MoreLast month, a few weeks before my granddaughter’s 13th birthday, I let her know that I decided to stop gushing about how pretty she looks every time I see her. Instead of focusing on how good she looks on the outside, I told Amada that I want to start focusing on how wonderful she is on the inside, and how happy I always feel when I see her.
Read MoreEarly this morning, as I gave our dogs Henry and Leo their first farm walk of the day, I thought about my father standing on the very same soil four decades ago, helping me and my husband build new supports for our raspberry plants. I can see him so clearly…relaxed, happy, and completely focused. He loved his work and never viewed it as a chore.
Read MoreIn honor of Holocaust Days of Remembrance week, which will be observed from April 16 to April 23, I’m sharing the first article I ever wrote about the Holocaust. It was motivated by my mother, who didn’t want to die before publicly thanking Sweden and Denmark for their life-saving rescue efforts and incredible generosity during World War II.
Read MoreIn astrology, Saturn is the planet of life lessons. I often think of Saturn as our hardest teacher—the one who keeps returning our term paper until we finally hand in our best work. Being in a Saturn return means that Saturn, having completed a full orbit around the Sun, has once again returned to where it was positioned when we were born.
Read MoreI’m thinking a lot about birth lately. My grandson Elián’s birthday was a few days ago, and next week marks the 33rd anniversary of when I gave birth to his mother—my first child, Marea. Marea and her wife Andrea are both midwives, and I’m excited to repost my #1 most shared blog ever, published just after Elián was born.
Read MoreEver since my lap-top free Hawaiian vacation several months ago, I’ve been starting most mornings by reading Buddhist wisdom from a variety of dharma teachers before going online to engage with a frenzy of waiting emails. I love this new ritual. It slows me down, prioritizes peace, and strengthens my awareness of timeless truths.
Read MoreLooking back at 2022, one reason it was an extra-special year for me is that I embraced a delightful new hobby: I started playing the guitar! This was a huge leap for me because although I love music, I’ve always been convinced that I had no talent for it whatsoever. For decades, I’ve maintained that I have “the worst voice in the world.”
Read MoreIn last week’s blog about using free-writing to untangle our deepest truths, I shared that I first tried this practice ten years ago, soon after my father passed, and how much it helped me process my grief and reclaim long-forgotten memories. Because people asked for more details, today I’m sharing some of the writing prompts I used back then.
Read MoreA few days before my father died, I began to feel his spirit sending me messages. Although it was hard to believe it was actually happening, the hospice nurses told me that they’d heard similar stories dozens of times. They’d also witnessed many near-death patients suddenly be able to hear words whispered far away in another room behind closed doors, as if they were no longer tethered to their bodies or limited by their physical senses. Even after my father passed, I continued to feel his presence.
Read MoreLeo—my family’s extra-sweet, affectionate and quirky fox-colored yellow lab—is about to turn three. After “Lessons from Leo” and “Lessons from Leo II,” I didn’t expect to have enough insights for a third installment, but Leo keeps teaching me important lessons just as I am ready to receive them—all without uttering a single word. Happy 3rd birthday Leo! Thank you for sharing your boundless love and joy, as well as essential life lessons.
Read MoreMy only memory from kindergarten is playing musical chairs during a class party. Two rows of chairs had been placed back-to-back down the middle of the classroom. Dozens of parents stood against the walls, encircling the chairs. I had never seen the game before and was unsure what the teacher meant when she said, “Remember the rules! You can only sit down when the music stops, not before.”
Read MoreWhen I was 25 and pregnant with my first child, it became clear that I had to deal with my constant fear of an impending catastrophe. I’d been plagued by intense anxiety as long for as I could remember, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to manage. Unremitting worry that something would go horribly wrong with my baby was swelling along with my belly.
Read MoreAs a New York City kid who moved onto a small heirloom raspberry farm in Carmel Valley right after college, I quickly fell deeply in love with working with the soil and living in sync with the rhythms of nature. Being outside most of the day, using my body rather than my mind to accomplish the tasks at hand, brought me a level of peace and wellbeing I hadn’t ever experienced before.
Read MoreToday is my 58th birthday. Reflecting back on the past year, I feel extremely grateful for many things, especially the birth of my beloved grandson, Elián, who turned ten months earlier this week. Also topping my list is the new ritual I established exactly one year ago today during the height of the pandemic, when I gave myself the birthday gift of a full day offline—a much needed break from my screens, as well as from the relentless avalanche of bad news.
Read MoreA few days before my father died, I began to feel his spirit sending me messages. Although it was hard to believe it was actually happening, the hospice nurses told me that they’d heard similar stories dozens of times. They’d also witnessed many near-death patients suddenly be able to hear words whispered far away in another room behind closed doors, as if they were no longer tethered to their bodies or limited by their physical senses. Even after my father passed, I continued to feel his presence.
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