Finding Safety
When I was 28 and pregnant with my second child, I engaged a hypnotist to help me cope with my escalating fears around giving birth and the health of my unborn baby. Far from feeling more confident after having completed this momentous act once before, I had post-traumatic anxiety because my first birth had been extremely difficult for me, both emotionally and physically. With every passing week, my fears expanded along with my belly, and my worries about how so much stress could impact my baby grew as well. I was desperate for relief.
I’ll never forget that first hypnosis session—sitting in a chair across from the hypnotist as she asked me to imagine a “happy place” where I felt completely safe and relaxed. After trying to conjure one up for a long time, I finally admitted that I simply could not do it. The hypnotist said, “Okay, let’s take some deep breaths and notice how safe we are in this room together just right now.” But I wasn’t able to access a feeling of total safety for even one moment.
Back then, I believed myself to be terribly, hopelessly neurotic. I hadn’t yet discovered that my unremitting anxiety was largely a symptom of a nervous system stuck in overdrive, constantly on high alert for threats. I didn’t know that while my mind will always be able to detect potential hazards in this highly unpredictable world, I could still access a sense of safety by learning to relax my nervous system, and that would change everything.
Myra pregnant with Jeff, 1992
As the daughter of two Holocaust-survivors descended from generations of persecution, it’s no wonder that the atmosphere I’d been born into was saturated with terror. And because fear was my constant unwanted companion, I’d spent most of my life trying to suppress or ignore it. This led me to perennially override fear’s healthy warning signals meant to protect me—a stubborn pattern that often led me into situations that confirmed my sense of being in perpetual danger.
Nonetheless, the hypnosis ended up working splendidly! I was able birth my almost 9-pound baby boy naturally—and it was a glorious, peak life experience.
The following hypnotic suggestions were introduced after my body had been guided to relax from head to toe while breathing slowly and deeply:
I will be totally calm while in labor.
I will feel a deep trust in myself and in the birthing process.
I will welcome every contraction with gratitude, knowing each one brings me closer to holding my baby.
Between contractions, I will experience the deepest possible rest, with no thoughts whatsoever about the future. When a new contraction arrives, I will feel fortified and eager to tackle it.
This lovely vision was reinforced for months in my weekly sessions, as well as in visualizations I did on my own.
Remarkably, my son’s birth unfolded exactly as it had been envisioned. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and frantic with pain like I had during my first birth, I felt calm and empowered the entire time. During every contraction, I breathed through the accelerating pain and moved my body in any way it naturally wanted to. Between contractions, instead of worrying about what was to come, I completely relaxed, often dozing off for a few minutes, then reawakening notably refreshed. With every passing hour, I felt increasingly strong and confident—feelings so potent, they stayed with me for months afterward.
Myra with Jeff soon after his birth, December 1992
Reflecting back from my current vantage point, I can see that so much of the work I do every day now is aimed at cultivating a state of calm embodiment reminiscent of what I experienced during my son’s birth. I was fully present, totally in the flow of life, and instead of generating a continuous loop of fear-inducing worries, my mind demonstrated its enormous capacity to manifest peace and positivity. I also learned about the immense power of deep relaxation to soothe, revitalize and fortify.
Myra relishing her children, Jeff and Marea
Although I no longer label myself “neurotic” or “extremely anxious,” I’m continually working on settling my nervous system, unearthing my emotional wounds and trauma patterns, embracing all of my emotions, and learning how to best comfort and support myself. While I inherited a stubborn legacy of fear from my parents, I also inherited their relentless drive to heal and grow. In fact, the reason why I reached out to a hypnotist 32 years ago was because my mother had given birth to me under hypnosis in 1963, and highly recommended it.
Myra at four months with her mother Edith, 1964
Another trait I inherited from my parents is the urge to share the tools for healing that have been the most beneficial for me, and nothing helps me more than qigong when it comes to developing a foundational sense of internal safety. I view qigong as one the greatest inventions of all time because of the many ways it improves my experience of being a human being alive on planet earth.
One of the five branches of traditional Chinese medicine developed thousands of years ago, qigong simultaneously fosters the health of our mind, body and spirit, making it the most efficient and effective form of self-care I’ve ever discovered. Utilizing movement, breath, self-massage, sound, and guided visualization, qigong is remarkably effective at calming our nervous system, quieting our mind, releasing physical and emotional tension, grounding us in the present moment, reconnecting us to the peaceful energy of the universe, and keeping our body strong and supple while stimulating its innate self-healing capabilities.
Qigong flows—routines where we move our body very slowly and smoothly in coordination with our breath—send our nervous system the very clear message that we are safe, because moving slowly communicates peace to our entire system, letting it know that there is absolutely nothing we need to run from. And when we slow down our body, we also slow down our mind, which is why qigong is such a pleasant and powerful form of moving meditation.
To learn more about this ancient practice that is perfect for the stresses of modern times, please check out our newest Quest for Eternal Sunshine free resource, Qigong: Cultivating Safety, Joy, and Vitality in Your Body, created in collaboration with internationally renowned qigong master and Chinese medical doctor, Lee Holden. Lee is an incredibly fun and effective teacher, whose vast array of top-quality, affordable offerings make it very easy and enjoyable to bring qigong into our daily lives. I’m vastly grateful for Lee’s wonderful work, and I am thrilled to be able to share it with you.
With wishes for calm and peace, however you choose to cultivate it!
Myra
