Awaken to Spiritual Bravery
Today I’m happy to share a wisdom-packed article I wrote for the January/February print issue of Spirituality & Health magazine that features the beautiful teachings of my beloved cousin Trudy Goodman—a Harvard-trained psychotherapist and an internationally recognized Buddhist spiritual teacher.
Recently, I had what felt like a perfect evening. My husband and I were in our cozy living room, playing guitar and singing our favorite songs as our two yellow labs lay contentedly at our feet. I felt relaxed, joyful, overflowing with love. There was no place on earth I would have rather been.
Smiling at the man who has been my partner for more than 40 years, I noticed how gray his hair had become. Then I looked at our beloved dog Henry, and remembered that he was almost nine and I was about to turn 60. Suddenly, an acute awareness of impermanence washed over me. There was no way this beautiful configuration could continue forever. How long would it last? How would it end? Could I bear the loss?
Myra with her husband Drew, circa 1994
At that moment, two diverging roads rose up in front of me, and I had to choose which one to follow. There was the well-trod path of anxiety and dread that was future-oriented, focused on projected loss and unavoidable grief; or the less familiar path of embodied presence, which leaned into the present moment, not away from it.
That evening was so memorable because I made the choice to stay present—to live and love wholeheartedly instead of retreating into fear. In doing so, I chose the road of spiritual bravery, which meant using the reality of impermanence to deepen my ability to savor the present moment, not scare me away from it.
Spiritual bravery is an orientation to life that invites us to view everything we encounter as an opportunity to grow, heal, and connect. It means fostering a willingness to engage with and learn from whatever life brings. Two basic questions came to mind:
What is the secret to being spiritually brave in a world overflowing with both beauty and pain?
How can we cultivate more of this special type of courage that implies a trust in both ourselves and the universe?
To help answer these questions, I reached out to my wise cousin Trudy Goodman—a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, internationally recognized Buddhist mindfulness and meditation teacher, and founder of the non-profit meditation community InsightLA. We spent many days pondering and discussing this topic.
Trudy Goodman, photo by Lever Rukhin
“I see spiritual bravery as the willingness to see and accept all of who we are,” Trudy told me. “It’s the willingness to be stripped of our fixed, rigid ideas of how our life is supposed to be, and instead open to a much wider view of the self as part of the great mysterious flow of life. Mating, birthing, living, aging, dying, each breath we take—it’s all part of belonging to nature, right here, right now.”
Trudy explained that it’s important to understand that we can be scared and brave at the same time. “Spiritual bravery is about not letting fear be in charge of you. You move forward anyway, even though you’re scared. In fact, it’s an act of spiritual bravery to explore your fear instead of attempting to suppress it. When you do this regularly, you begin to trust that you will still be standing after the fear moves through you.”
The process of cultivating spiritual bravery includes daring to be our authentic selves instead of trying to fit in with society’s expectations, and trying something new even if it doesn’t come easily. Every time we let go of societal standards for a successful life or risk making mistakes and looking foolish, we are being spiritually brave.
It is an act of spiritual bravery to feel all our emotions instead of running away, to speak our authentic truth, and to choose to remain vulnerable instead of armoring up. Having the courage to bear witness the pain of the world with an open heart takes spiritual courage.
For those of us seeking to feel more confident in navigating all of life’s ups and downs with a brave, steady heart, Trudy provides five steps to cultivating more of this empowering, transformative type of courage:
Trudy Shares 5 Steps to Cultivating Spiritual Bravery
Step 1: Practice Mindful Awareness
Mindfulness—the capacity to be fully present right where we are in this very moment—is foundational for spiritual bravery. It’s something we need to consciously cultivate because it’s easy to live in a constant state of mental distraction and input overload. We spend so much time worrying about the future or ruminating about the past, yet this very moment is all we ever really have.
The miracle of mindfulness is that we can practice it anywhere, anytime. We always have the agency to pause, tune into the present moment, feel the sensations in our body, hear the sounds of life around us, and watch our thoughts flow by. We can always slow down and observe the ebb and flow of our breath.
Meditation allows us to practice stepping back and becoming a kind witness to our own mind. It’s an awareness of just being, without the overlay of thoughts and judgments. Mindfulness brings us the gift of participating in the world more fearlessly, with an open heart and a clear, honest mind.
What I’ve discovered in my 50 years of practicing meditation is that nothing is too weird, scary, tragic, or overwhelming for mindfulness to embrace.
Trudy with Ram Dass
Trudy with the Dalai Lama
Step 2: Find Safety in Your Body
It is much easier to be spiritually brave when you know how to find calm in the center of the storm. The best way I’ve found to do this is to harness the power of breath. Tuning into our breath is something we can do whenever and wherever we feel anxious or unsafe.
Years ago, I was hit by a car. While lying in the ambulance in shock, all I could do was breathe. My breaths were shuddering at first, but soon I noticed that even as my panicked thoughts kept whirling around, my breath began to slow. Despite the pain and fear, I could access a state of relaxation by anchoring into my breath. Everything feels less overwhelming when our nervous system is relaxed.”
Exercise—Finding Safety Through Breath
Take three deep, slow belly breaths. Bring your awareness into the present moment. Look around and notice exactly where you are.
Place one hand on your heart, and one on your belly. Notice the sensations in your body—the chair supporting you, your feet on the ground.
Imagine you are being loved by the breath as it gently flows in and out of your body. With every exhale, let go of tension and worry. Let the breath breathe you.
Step 3: Embrace Every Emotion
An essential foundation to spiritual bravery is knowing that we can handle every feeling that arises, including fear, pain, sorrow, anger, love, and joy.
When we’re afraid of an emotion and try to escape it, our nervous system goes into fight, flight, or freeze mode, which fuels anxiety. When we ignore or repress our feelings, we get trapped in confusion and suffering.
Thankfully, mindfulness gives us the capacity to turn towards our feelings rather than away from them. When we gain the ability to work with them wisely, they no longer run our lives. Over time, we learn that not only can we survive feeling our challenging emotions but actually come out stronger, wiser, and clearer.
Yet being courageous doesn’t mean that we have to carry our burdens all by ourselves. Discussing our feelings with people who care about us is not only helpful and healing, we awaken spiritual bravery every time we dare to be open, honest and vulnerable.
Exercise: Embracing Our Emotions
When difficult emotions arise, place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Name the emotion, and then breathe into it while bringing a sense of acceptance, curiosity, and patient tenderness.
Notice where the emotion is located in your body and breathe into it. Is there a color or density to it? Focus gently and simply observe.
Allow your emotion to shift and take up all the space it needs. It’s counterintuitive, but letting it expand instead of trying to contain it helps it run its course.
Step 4: Nurture Self-Trust
All of us have been conditioned by our family and society, and most of us have been trained to focus outside ourselves to follow the dictates and directions of others. Yet within each of us is a priceless treasure: our own deep, individual knowing; an essential guidance system that can help us navigate our lives with confidence and courage.
Mindfulness helps us notice the myriad voices inside of us that are always telling us who we should be and what we need to do. When we bring them into the light of awareness, we gain the agency to choose whether or not to obey them.
When facing a decision, ask your own intuitive knowing: What do I really want? What is right for me? Say your options aloud, then notice how you feel. Is there an inner “yes” that makes you feel happy, or an inner “no” that makes you tense? With practice, we can learn to trust our intuition.
Another key to self-trust is fostering self-love and becoming our own most loyal ally. Life feels more manageable when we take care of ourselves, and that includes resting when we need to rest, setting firm boundaries that we stick to, and becoming our own best cheerleader.
Exercise: Fostering Self-Love
Imagine your current self meeting a younger you: when you were a baby, child, or young adult.
Looking with eyes of tenderness, gather your young self into your arms. Express your love and appreciation, and sense them melting into your heart.
Step 5: Expand Your Consciousness
When we are brave enough to look deeply at nature—including the mysteries of both life and death—we recognize that we’re on earth for a short time, and that who we are isn’t limited to our physical body.
Every moment of every day, we are part of the innate intelligence of the universe. How does a mother’s body know how to create another human being? How does a plant know to grow towards the light, or a bee know where to find honey?
Looking at the ocean or the vastness of the sky, individual concerns take up less space in our psyche. They become smaller and less urgent. Knowing we’re firmly embedded in the great web of life inspires spiritual courage. Held in the arms of the cosmos, we are never separate or alone.
I believe that our individual incarnations are an expression of a great, benevolent universe—of consciousness itself. From this wider perspective, every being is inextricably connected.
Exercise: Connecting With Something Greater Than Ourselves
Take some quiet time to reflect on what inspires and sustains you. It might be your ancestors, your perception of God, the power of love, the laughter of children, or the beauty of nature.
Reflect on what stirs your heart. What do you care deeply about? What are your unique gifts and passions you feel called to share? What new step is your inner knowing asking you to take?
Each time we are brave enough to venture into new territory, our bravery grows. The more courageous steps we take, the more our courage intensifies. Eventually, even when we feel vulnerable or lost, we are able to trust in our capacity to be present. Being spiritually brave means choosing to belong to love instead of fear.
