Change Your Lens, Transform Your Story
Healing and personal growth require both introspection and aspiration. To truly evolve, we must reflect on the past to understand the experiences that shaped us. We also need to envision the future we want, to make sure that we’re moving toward our desired destination.
My father taught me that our past is never etched in stone. His healing journey required him to face the immense pain of his youth, but just as important was revisiting his childhood with fresh eyes that actively sought out the good. When my dad began to shift his focus away from memories that validated his suffering and towards ones filled with love and joy, he was astonished to discover how many beautiful experiences he’d completely forgotten about.
“Each time I recalled something pleasant, it was like uncovering buried treasure,” my father wrote. “I welcomed and cherished those newfound gems, and thought of them over and over to feed my mind and heart and indelibly impress them upon my consciousness.”
Thinking about the people he’d loved, the taste of his favorite foods, the activities that had brought him joy, and the youthful hopes and dreams that had once fueled his spirit helped my father loosen his loyalty to the long-held narratives that reinforced his feelings of anger, fear, shame and guilt. It freed him to step out of the oppressive darkness of his difficult past and embrace a brighter, more hopeful world.
My father also took charge of his life by envisioning a positive future. He regularly visualized himself feeling fearless, free, and content—brimming with joy while surrounded by the beauty of nature that most delighted him. It was as if he was reprogramming his very cells for happiness and peace.
One of Myra’s father Mendek’s first paintings, 1979
Our thoughts and intentions have immense power over our emotions and destiny. My qigong teacher, Lee Holden, often speaks about this topic, guiding his students to direct their minds in ways that promote their wellbeing.
In his new book, Ready, Set, Slow, Lee has a chapter titled, “If You Can Worry, You Can Meditate.” He explains that as long as we’re focused on one main activity, we’re meditating on that activity. This means that when we worry, we’re actually meditating on what we don’t want to happen. “Meditation can be a simple flip of the same logic—a decision to pay attention to what we do want instead.”
When we find ourselves fretting, Lee advises doing “a little Aikido mind move.” Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, we should ask ourselves, “What could go amazingly well today?”—a question that is the opposite of worry. “Picture the best-case scenario in detail,” Lee says, “and then take it one step further by imagining how you would like to feel. Use the momentum of your mind to catapult you into a whirlwind of radical positivity.”
In one of my favorite online qigong classes, Lee led us in a wisdom-rich guided meditation that beautifully wove together the past, present, and future. He had us begin by grounding ourselves in the present moment. “Notice where your body is in time and space. Recognize that we are always in the present. The past and future exist only in our imagination—we either recall past experiences or envision future possibilities. You can always return to the present by feeling your body. Remember: The time is always now. The place is always here. Say to yourself, I am here. I am always here.”
Lee explained that focusing on appreciation is a powerful meditative practice. “Let’s take a moment to reflect on things we are grateful for—things from today, yesterday, or even years ago. Like a treasure hunter collecting precious gems, when we gather moments of gratitude, we elevate our energy in the present. What brings our energy down is dwelling on things we didn’t like in the past. Instead, let’s shift our focus. Recall a few moments that you are truly grateful for. Notice how this simple act of appreciation elevates the energy of your heart center.”
After having us take some slow, deep breaths and come back to the present moment by feeling our backs against the chair and our feet on the ground, Lee said, “Now, let’s skillfully work with the energy of the future. Bring to mind some things that excite or inspire you—things that fill you with joyful anticipation. Hold them in your mind, giving them your full attention. Notice how good you feel. Now, return to the present. Feel grounded in your body.”
Lee explained that by cultivating gratitude from the past and inspiration for the future, we elevate our energy in the present moment. “Let this energy stay with you as you move through your day. As you go forward, allow yourself to be drawn to what brings joy, appreciation, and inspiration. Release what no longer serves you—let it go, allowing it to be composted and transformed.”
The treasures gathered from practices like my father’s and Lee’s can become the seeds that take root, motivating us to keep exploring how we can work with our past and future more intentionally. That’s why I’m especially excited about our upcoming writing workshop, “Write Your Past & Future Open,” on Saturday, February 22, which will be an exciting internal adventure led by Patrice Vecchione— a very wise teacher, author, poet, and artist.. Our online workshop is free, and everyone is welcome. Please don’t think you need to be a “good writer” to attend.
Much like meditation and visualization, writing is a powerful tool for remembering who we are, uncovering deep truths, accessing long-forgotten memories, and envisioning the life we wish to create. Together, we’ll ask ourselves meaningful questions, such as, “What beliefs and stories have I been holding onto that no longer serve me?” and “Is there a vision for my future that inspires me, illuminating the path ahead?”
Growth and healing aren’t just about letting go—they’re also about choosing what we wish to embrace.
