Do You Dare Speak Your Truth?
Have you ever considered how you use your voice, reflecting on how often you feel safe and secure enough to speak honestly, truly uncensored? Are you confident speaking out, or do you regularly stifle your truths or modify what you have to say out of fear or deference to others? Can you trace your life back to a time when you spoke unfettered and used your voice freely?
Who I am When I Speak, collage by Patrice Vecchione
Patrice Vecchione, the wise writing teacher, author and artist who will be leading our upcoming Quest for Eternal Sunshine free writing workshop on February 25—Write Your Voice Open—invites us to explore these questions and more, including:
Do you trust your voice, stand behind it, and appreciate its veracity and wisdom?
Do you have multiple voices within you—different parts of yourself that are calling out to be expressed?
Has your voice ever been ignored, shut down, denied, or disbelieved, and has this led you to question its value, or struggle to know, hear, and trust it?
When you were growing up, did what you had to say not fit in with the dominant culture or mesh with the point of view within your family of origin? If so, did that cause you to internalize this oppression and become hesitant to speak, or did it strengthen your determination to have a voice, inspiring you to become more vocal?
Reflecting on the topic of honoring our authentic voice, I’ve been noticing how often I don’t even dare acknowledge many of my truths privately—habitually ignoring or suppressing my honest reactions and desires to avoid confrontation or discomfort. It turns out that this type of self-betrayal is not only very common, it’s also emotionally damaging and has significant physical ramifications.
Unwritten, collage by Patrice Vecchione
In his best-selling new book, The Myth of Normal, Dr. Gabor Maté discusses the strong correlation he’s found between self-suppression and chronic illness. He says so many people in our culture, especially women, work excessively hard to avoid upsetting or disappointing others, repressing what he calls, “healthy, self-protective aggression and anger.” Dr. Maté wants us to wake up to the fact that these self-denying patterns are dangerously disguised as positive attributes in our society, such as compassion, honor, diligence, loving kindness, and generosity. “If you’ve ever met a newborn infant,” he wrote, “You know they have zero compunction about expressing their feelings, nor do they think twice before crying lest they inconvenience someone else.”
I’ve been fascinated by how much I discover when I stop to ask myself what I would say if I had “zero compunction” about expressing my feelings—if I let it rip like my two-year-old grandson who has not yet been conditioned to edit his emotions or modulate how he expresses them. For me, this radical form of self-inquiry has turned out to be a powerful portal to increased self-awareness.
In anticipation of our Write Your Voice Open workshop, Patrice and I have been putting our heads together to ponder what happens when our authentic voice is stifled. Does this energy escape, or does it fester within? How does stifling our truth distort or dampen it? When does this type of repression turn into passive-aggressive behavior—a common pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them—which can quickly poison our relationships with other people as well as ourselves?
“While it’s not always wise to share our deepest truths with others, it is important to acknowledge them to ourselves, and writing is a perfect way to do this,” Patrice says. “To write freely, we need to be willing to let go of the internal editor and critic, trust ourselves, and write with an attitude of ‘Let’s see what I have to say.’ For some of us, writing and speaking freely, even privately on paper, is a challenge, but one that is enormously important to overcome. The payoffs can be incredible!”
The Approach of Summer, collage by Patrice Vecchione
In our free two-hour workshop, Patrice will lead participants through questions and exercises that will give them the confidence and motivation to free their inner voices. “We’ll tune into our curiosity and imagination, become more familiar with our various voices, and develop skills for listening to our inner voice as well as the voices of others. We’ll also delve into the importance of silence.”
I love hosting writing workshops, because they have been a potent method of self-discovery and healing for me and so many others. Please join us on Saturday, February 25, from 10:00 to 12:00 Pacific for Write Your Voice Open, and discover just how unique, important, and beautiful your voice can be. You do not have to consider yourself a writer to attend. All our workshops are always free, and everyone is welcome!
