I think of myself as a generous person, but not a selflessly generous person. For example, I always make sure baristas are looking my way before I place a bill in their tip jar. Although I’m embarrassed to admit it, sometimes I even move extra slowly to ensure my contribution is noticed. No anonymity for me!
Read MoreWhen my beloved Zen teacher, Katherine Thanas, passed away twelve years ago, I booked a session with energy healer Hilary Nichols to help me process my grief over this significant loss. After guiding me into a deeply relaxed state, Hilary asked me to think about Katherine and identify a quality of hers that I loved and wanted to always remember by fostering it within myself. Katherine’s hands instantly came to mind—hands that touched everything with full attention and gentle reverence.
Read MoreI recently discovered a wonderful book about mindfulness that had been hiding on my top shelf for over a decade, How to Train a Wild Elephant & Other Adventures in Mindfulness. It was written by Jan Chozen Bays, MD—a pediatrician, meditation teacher, and abbess of the Great Vow Zen Monastery in Oregon. Many of the mindfulness practices she shares were explored and refined in community with her students.
Read MoreIn last week’s blog, Lessons in Loving and Grieving, I shared some beautiful poems by Elliot Ruchowitz-Roberts, as well the origin story of our special friendship that blossomed during the final months of beloved wife’s life in 2010. Elliot and Tey had been married for 50 years, and it was a slow process to heal from the impact of her passing.
Read MoreToday I want to share some beautiful poems written by my friend Elliot Ruchowitz-Roberts—a wise man and gifted poet whom I grew close to fourteen years ago, during the final months of his wife Tey’s life. I first met Tey when I became a Zen student at the Monterey Bay Zen Center in 1993. She warmly embraced me when I felt like an excluded outsider amidst the tightly knit group of seasoned students.
Read MoreMany of us on a quest to live more peacefully and joyfully have discovered the benefits of examining the beliefs and coping mechanisms we developed when we were young and vulnerable. Looking inward, we often find a frightened inner child banished to our subconscious, seemingly frozen in time.
Read MoreThe holiday season, which can often feel hectic and overwhelming, is a great time to spotlight the importance of setting healthy boundaries. To me, this means making my physical and emotional needs a top priority, which includes choosing to advocate for them rather than abandon myself. It means being brave enough to say no, which requires a willingness to face negative reactions and pushback. It means working to break free from the entrenched people-pleasing patterns I’ve had for as long as I can remember.
Read MoreEach of us is born into an intricate web of familial patterns unconsciously handed down through generations. Since infancy, I was labeled the “good girl” by my mother, while my older sister was branded the “bad girl.” This began when my mother arrived home from the hospital with me in her arms to find my 13-month-old sister upset, withdrawn, and difficult to comfort.
Read MoreAs a self-appointed “wisdom gatherer,” I’m always curious about the primary insights offered by self-help books that attain astronomical popularity. One such book is Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear. Featuring the tagline “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results,” this book has sold over 10 million copies worldwide, and is still a #1 bestseller on Amazon five years after its release.
Read MoreRecently, David Whyte’s powerful poem, “To Break a Promise,” has inspired me to deeply ponder the nature of commitments. In a world that is constantly changing, is it always dishonorable to break a promise? When must we remain steadfast, and when should we muster the bravery, humility and fortitude to leave it behind?
Read MoreThe most helpful and transformative relationship advice I’ve ever received came from Dr. Becky Kennedy, the clinical psychologist and parenting expert who I’ve written about twice before. It’s a principle she calls “multiplicity” or “two things are true” mentality, which means being open to two or more seemingly oppositional realities being true at the same time.
Read MoreOsho Zenju Earthlyn Manuel’s powerful new book, Opening to Darkness, was written during the peak of the COVID pandemic, when the entire world was trapped in fear and there was nowhere to flee.
Read MoreMany of us on a quest to live more peacefully and joyfully have discovered the benefits of examining the beliefs and coping mechanisms we developed when we were young and vulnerable. Looking inward, we often find a frightened inner child banished to our subconscious, seemingly frozen in time.
Read MoreWhen it comes to my personal healing journey, I’ve been learning a tremendous amount from clinical psychologist and parenting expert, Dr. Becky Kennedy. Even though her book, Good Inside, A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be (a #1 New York Times bestseller), podcast, and Instagram posts are geared towards parents of young children, I can’t seem to get enough of her advice, and it’s taken me some time to figure out why.
Read MoreHave you ever considered how you use your voice, reflecting upon how often you feel safe and secure enough to speak honestly, truly uncensored? Are you confident speaking out, or do you regularly stifle your truths or modify what you have to say out of fear or deference to others? Can you trace your life back to a time when you spoke unfettered and used your voice freely?
Read MoreEver since my lap-top free Hawaiian vacation several months ago, I’ve been starting most mornings by reading Buddhist wisdom from a variety of dharma teachers before going online to engage with a frenzy of waiting emails. I love this new ritual. It slows me down, prioritizes peace, and strengthens my awareness of timeless truths.
Read MoreLast July, I shared some powerful poems by my dear friend, Elliot Ruchowitz-Roberts, in two special blogs. The array of poems I chose related directly to the stories I was telling, so there was no place for me to include one of my all-time favorites, “Solstice.”
Read MoreThis November marks ten years since I took my first writing workshop at Esalen Institute in Big Sur. It was called “Writing What You Can’t Remember,” and the exceptionally talented and insightful teacher was Laura Davis, the best-selling author of the groundbreaking book, The Courage to Heal.
Read MoreThis week, I’m happy to share an article I wrote for Spirituality & Health magazine about transforming our relationship to change that features profound insights from Diego Perez—the wise young man behind the pen name, yung pueblo, whose new book, Lighter, just debuted as #1 on the New York Times bestseller list.
Read MoreWhat is intuition and where does it come from? How does it differ from gut instinct or an idea that suddenly pops into our mind? When we tap into intuition, are we tapping into wisdom from other realms? When I brought these questions to Tina Powers—the extraordinary medium who is leading our free online afterlife event tomorrow—she told me, “We are all built with an inner compass that guides us. This guidance comes through our entire body and includes all our senses of perception, not just the physical.”
Read More
