Cultivate Contentment
Lessons From My Father
Quest for Eternal Sunshine was truly a posthumous collaboration between me and my father. Approximately half the book was pieced together from his original writings, while the other half was drawn from information I harvested from dozens of diverse sources, and written by me. I searched and gathered for many years, and it often felt like a magical treasure hunt directed from above.
One gem I found was a report my daughter had done in elementary school—an assignment to interview someone who had immigrated to America. She interviewed my father. One question she’d asked him was, “What surprised you the most about America?”
His answer was, “I couldn’t believe that people ate cake every day.”
From interviewing his sole surviving sister, my aunt Bronia, I learned that “cake” was a word my dad used interchangeably with “dessert,” and that in their hometown of Jaworzno, Poland, dessert was only eaten on Saturdays. It was a special Shabbat treat.
I found it intriguing that a detail that seemed so small to me felt so significant to my father. He was a person who paid close attention to everything, and he was fascinated by the minutiae of how the human mind works. I bet he noticed that while it was easy to assume that being able to eat cake every day would be better than being limited to only once a week, he observed that when cake was so special, every single morsel was savored to the fullest.
Coming to America, my father learned that more isn’t necessarily better. In fact, he wrote about how surprised he was to discover that there was so much emotional suffering in this country despite its wealth.
Remembering to be grateful for this moment—appreciating what is happening right now instead of constantly striving to get exactly what we think will make us happy—is an important lesson I learned from my dad. I practice his wisdom whenever I stay present and resist getting lured away by my thoughts, which mostly arise from deep-seated, unconscious, and automatic patterns. When I do this, the world is as my father often described it: an exceptionally beautiful and magical place.
One of my very favorite quotes is by Byron Katie, a spiritual teacher that both my parents loved and traveled to hear speak multiple times. She said, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.”
My dad followed his bliss and made it a point to always choose that which delighted him the most. But even in situations that might not have been of his choosing, I remember him appearing both satisfied and at ease. Now I try to remember to cultivate contentment and gratitude, because when I do, happiness and peace of mind follow.
Deep Relaxation Guided Meditation
Mendek’s favorite way to quickly return to a state of calm contentment was to submerse himself in nature. He could gaze endlessly at natural beauty and loved walking the beach, but was equally inspired visiting favorite places in his imagination.
With Mendek as our inspiration, we created a wonderful guided meditation called Deep Relaxation that uses breath and a connection to the earth to help you completely relax in just seven minutes. Enjoy!
Find more meditations on the Guided Meditation page.
“Quest for Eternal Sunshine—A Holocaust Survivor’s Journey from Darkness to Light” is the story of Mendek Rubin, a brilliant inventor who endured three horrendous years in Nazi slave labor concentration camps while most of his family was murdered in Auschwitz. Mendek eventually turned his genius on his own psyche, figuring out innovative ways to heal from his enormous traumas to live a joyous and peaceful life. The book—a posthumous collaboration between Mendek and his daughter, Myra Goodman—is based on an unfinished manuscript Myra discovered after her father’s death.
Mendek was an extremely curious, imaginative, and inventive person from the time he was a young boy. At only seven, he devised a key that could open any lock. His family owned a hardware store in their small town of Jaworzno, Poland, and if someone accidentally locked themselves out of their home, my dad was the one sent to open the door.
Just like the universal key he’d invented as a child, Mendek discovered the keys to freeing himself from the psychological prison he’d been trapped in for decades to find his way back to love. In this “Keys to Happiness” series, Myra shares some of the important lessons she is continuing to learn from her father every day.
