Nervous System Support for the Holidays
While I treasure spending lots of time with family and friends during the holiday season, I can quickly become overstimulated and knocked off center. Socializing, travel, and constant activity—even when filled with great joy—can be overwhelming for the nervous system.
As the daughter of two Holocaust survivors who grew up in an atmosphere of fear, hypervigilance, and repressed grief, the natural set point for my nervous system is one of overactivation. One of the most essential life skills I’m developing is the ability to quickly recognize when my nervous system is revving up, and then draw on one of the many practices I’ve learned to release tension and access calm.
With the holidays approaching, I was inspired to assemble my favorite nervous system-calming techniques gleaned from previous blogs and our Quest for Eternal Sunshine free “Tools for Healing” resources. I’ve found that it’s essential to get familiar with them when I’m feeling relatively calm, so they’re ready and waiting when I need them most.
Martha Beck’s “Amygdala-Whispering” Techniques
The following are some great nervous system calming techniques Martha Beck shares in her book Beyond Anxiety, which I summarized in an article called “Swap Anxiety for Joy.”
Sigh. Exhale deep breaths with long sighs. “Every time you breathe out, your heartbeat slows a little. Exhaling taps the brakes on your fight-or-flight response.”
Soften the focus of your eyes. Because maintaining a sharp focus is part of the fight-or-flight response, “Softening the focus of our attention, especially the focus of our eyes, sends a powerful message to our anxiety creatures that it’s okay to relax.”
Move. Staying still when you’re feeling anxious can feel akin to captivity. “Movement, especially shaking, is a highly effective way to handle current or post-traumatic stress … a powerful way for the nervous system to regulate into a state of peace.”
Accept. Trying to stop yourself from feeling your emotions fuels anxiety, while acceptance breeds calm. Try telling your anxious parts, “You can go ahead and stay scared. I’m not going to try to change you. I accept you exactly as you are.”
Murmur, hum, sing, or chant. Our amygdala is reassured by sound and vibration. “When we’re anxious, our throats tighten. Our voices go up in pitch as well as volume. Relaxing our breathing muscles by speaking in a low, slow voice is soothing both because it requires us to loosen this tension, and because the physical vibration of a calm human voice helps regulate our nervous systems.”
Deploy kind internal self-talk (KIST). Use a gentle voice while focusing on extending loving-kindness to yourself as if you are addressing another being. Experiment with comforting phrases such as, “You’re okay,” “I’m here with you,” “May you feel peaceful,” and “May you feel free.”
One Conscious Breath Meditation
Tibetan Buddhist scholar-practitioner Andrew Holecek offers this extremely brief “industrial strength” meditation that is very effective, easy, and enjoyable.
Here’s what you do:
Bring your full attention to your inhalation for one long, slow, full belly-breath.
Bring your full attention to your slow exhalation while letting out an audible sigh.
Breathe naturally while you “rest in the peace” for a few seconds.
Hum Yourself Home
Energy healer Hilary Nicholls offers this beautiful humming practice that releases stress and fosters relaxation and groundedness in just a couple of minutes. It’s great before meditation, falling asleep, or whenever you need to offer yourselves a little soothing, loving care.
Here’s what you do:
Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Take a deep breath in through your nose, expanding your belly, then exhale slowly through your mouth while vocalizing the sound “Ahhhhh” or “Haaaaa”—whichever feels right.
Repeat three times. With each exhale, feel yourself releasing emotional and physical tension.
Switch hands (the one that was on your belly is now on your heart). Take a deep breath through your nose into your belly, then exhale slowly through your nose while vocalizing the sound “home,” as if you were chanting “Om,” but beginning with an H. Linger on the “m” sound, humming “hommmmmme” with your mouth closed.
Repeat three times. With each hum, enjoy the relaxing vibration, and feel yourself coming home to your body, supported by Mother Earth—calm, grounded and present.
Self-Havening: Soothing Touch
This beautiful five-minute somatic practice from our “Take Five” guided meditation series uses the power of soothing self-touch to signal safety to the brain and activate the body’s parasympathetic calming response. It also reminds us of our capacity to both give and receive nourishment from ourselves—anywhere, any time.
Qigong for Stress Release and Calm
Qigong is an incredibly enjoyable and effective practice for releasing stress and teaching our nervous system what deep calm feels like, so we can return to that state more quickly. Internationally renowned qigong master Lee Holden offers this wonderful six-minute practice to quickly release stress and access a state of peace and calm.
