Tomorrow marks eleven years since my remarkable father passed away, just shy of his 88th birthday. Because my experience of his death and the connection I felt with his spirit was so profound, years later, when I wrote my introduction to Quest for Eternal Sunshine, I began the book with a description of his final days.
Read MoreA quarter century ago, when I was in my early thirties, depleted by the constant demands of mothering two young children and a fast-growing business, I said goodbye to my family one Friday afternoon for a much-needed weekend break. Accompanied by my sister Ruthie and a close mutual friend, I drove deep into the Santa Cruz mountains, eager to attend a spiritual retreat led by the famous Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield.
Read More“People don’t like to feel envy. They feel like it’s kind of like a taboo. They don’t want to feel that. They think that they’re a bad person for feeling that. But actually, envy is very instructive, because envy tells us something about desire. I always say to people: Follow your envy. It tells you what you want.” —Lori Gottlieb
Read More“‘Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.” This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it’s hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy.” —Maria Popova’s blog, The Marginalian
Read More“If your happiness depends on your children being happy, that makes them your hostages. So stay out of their business, stop using them for your happiness, and be your own happiness. And that way you are the teacher for your children: someone who knows how to live a happy life.” —Byron Katie, from "Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie"
Read More“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” —Jack Kornfield, from A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
Read More“The spiritual world provides a sense of wonder and a degree of open-mindedness not always found within the confines of science. The world of reason can be narrow and filled with dead ends, while a spiritual viewpoint is limitless and invites fantastic possibilities. The unseen world is boundless…“ —Rick Rubin, From The Creative Act: A Way of Being
Read More“Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” — Glennon Doyle, from Untamed
Read More“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ― Eckhart Tolle
Read More“We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society…” —Alan Watts, from The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are
Read More“I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it.” — Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D, from Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal
Read MoreAs a self-appointed “wisdom gatherer,” I’m always curious about the primary insights offered by self-help books that attain astronomical popularity. One such book is Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear. Featuring the tagline “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results,” this book has sold over 10 million copies worldwide, and is still a #1 bestseller on Amazon five years after its release.
Read MoreRecently, David Whyte’s powerful poem, “To Break a Promise,” has inspired me to deeply ponder the nature of commitments. In a world that is constantly changing, is it always dishonorable to break a promise? When must we remain steadfast, and when should we muster the bravery, humility and fortitude to leave it behind?
Read MoreWith Father’s Day fast approaching, I’ve been thinking about the fathers in my life, and the different ways they love their children. Reminiscing about my relationship with my father, I am struck by the fact that he never seemed to care about my accomplishments in the outside world.
Read MoreThe most helpful and transformative relationship advice I’ve ever received came from Dr. Becky Kennedy, the clinical psychologist and parenting expert who I’ve written about twice before. It’s a principle she calls “multiplicity” or “two things are true” mentality, which means being open to two or more seemingly oppositional realities being true at the same time.
Read MoreI heard the spiritual teacher Ram Dass speak in person only once. It was one of the first public talks he gave after suffering a severe stroke at age 65, leaving him dependent on caregivers for the rest of his life. Even though I sat in that audience almost a quarter-century ago, I still vividly recall the wisdom he shared that day.
Read MoreMark Mason, who has sold 20 million books worldwide in 65 different languages, describes himself as a writer who’s been “giving life advice that doesn’t suck since 2008.” Having discovered many interesting insights and compelling quotes on his Instagram feed, today I’m happy to share one of his posts which I found both wise and intriguing.
Read MoreWhether consciously or unconsciously, many of us are convinced that to be worthy of love and admiration we need to look a certain way—the way our current society deems ideal. This can make us feel shamefully lacking and lead to a highly critical and antagonistic relationship with our bodies.
Read MoreAt her essence, my mother is one of the most magnificent people I have ever known, but her life has been shaped by extreme, unresolved trauma. Despite how tender I feel toward her, I’ve simultaneously been experiencing a persistent drive to unearth and transform my emotional inheritance, as if my mother’s pending release from this life has to power to accelerate my own liberation.
Read MoreLast month, a few weeks before my granddaughter’s 13th birthday, I let her know that I decided to stop gushing about how pretty she looks every time I see her. Instead of focusing on how good she looks on the outside, I told Amada that I want to start focusing on how wonderful she is on the inside, and how happy I always feel when I see her.
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