Building Better Boundaries
The holiday season, which can often feel hectic and overwhelming, is a great time to spotlight the importance of setting healthy boundaries. To me, this means making my physical and emotional needs a top priority, which includes choosing to advocate for them rather than abandon myself. It means being brave enough to say no, which requires a willingness to face negative reactions and pushback. It means working to break free from the entrenched people-pleasing patterns I’ve had for as long as I can remember.
Read More
Setting Our Children Free
Today’s short Pause to Ponder post features a poem by the wise Lebanese-American writer, poet and artist, Kahlil Gibran. It’s from his book “The Prophet,” which was published in 1923 and has sold over 100 million copies worldwide.
Read More
Humming Through the Holidays
Last month, I attended a wonderful five-day qigong retreat held at 1440 Multiversity, a retreat center nestled in the redwood forests of the Santa Cruz mountains. The highlight for me was being able to practice qigong encircled by redwood trees, including a mother tree that is more than 1,000 years old.
Read More
We Are All Teachers
Whether it’s demonstrating how to seed a pomegranate, showing a teenager how to drive, or modeling a sincere apology, teaching is something we all do in many forms throughout our lives. Learning is never limited to the classroom. In fact, we are all teachers.
Read More
The Energy of Peace
Today I’m sharing some wisdom from Diego Perez’s newest book, The Way Forward. Diego writes under the pen name Yung Pueblo, which means “young people.” The name is meant to convey an optimistic outlook for humanity—that we’re entering an era where many of us will experience expanded self-awareness, growth and healing.
Read More
Tools to Stay Grounded in an Ungrounded World
When I search back in time for my happiest memories, I see my eight-year-old self during the peak of an entire summer spent in the countryside. I am gingerly making my way across large, smooth stones as I follow a river flowing downstream. After weeks of running around without shoes, my calloused feet are comfortable on the sun-heated rocks. I’m both relaxed and energized, brimming with joy and vitality. It turns out that part of what made me feel so wonderful all those decades ago was that I was grounding.
Read More
Hope for Humanity
I need to be honest and share that I am still in shock over the events in Israel and Gaza. The horrific violence feels too painful for my heart to bear, and for now, there is no end in sight—just terror about what the future holds for both Israelis and Palestinians, as well as the rest of the world.
Read More
A Shortcut to Our Best Selves
Each of us is born into an intricate web of familial patterns unconsciously handed down through generations. Since infancy, I was labeled the “good girl” by my mother, while my older sister was branded the “bad girl.” This began when my mother arrived home from the hospital with me in her arms to find my 13-month-old sister upset, withdrawn, and difficult to comfort.
Read More
Turning People Into Trees
Today’s short Pause to Ponder post features beautiful wisdom about acceptance from the spiritual teacher Ram Dass, excerpted from one of his teachings shared by the Love Serve Remember Foundation.
Read More
Lessons from Leo IV
Leo—my family’s extra-sweet and quirky fox-colored yellow lab—turns four today, which means it’s time for the fourth installment of “Lessons from Leo.” I feel enormously grateful for our adorable pup, who brings much joy and entertainment into our lives while continually teaching me important life lessons.
Read More
What Are Your Feelings Telling You?
Real emotional maturity is how thoroughly you let yourself feel anything. Everything. Whatever comes… What you have to know is that suffering is just the refusal to accept what is. That’s it. Etymologically, it comes from the Latin word to “from below to bear.” Or, to “resist, endure, put under.” So healing is really just letting yourself feel.
Read More
Beyond This Realm—2023
Tomorrow marks eleven years since my remarkable father passed away, just shy of his 88th birthday. Because my experience of his death and the connection I felt with his spirit was so profound, years later, when I wrote my introduction to Quest for Eternal Sunshine, I began the book with a description of his final days.
Read More
Who Are You?
A quarter century ago, when I was in my early thirties, depleted by the constant demands of mothering two young children and a fast-growing business, I said goodbye to my family one Friday afternoon for a much-needed weekend break. Accompanied by my sister Ruthie and a close mutual friend, I drove deep into the Santa Cruz mountains, eager to attend a spiritual retreat led by the famous Buddhist teacher, Jack Kornfield.
Read More
What is Your Envy Telling You?
“People don’t like to feel envy. They feel like it’s kind of like a taboo. They don’t want to feel that. They think that they’re a bad person for feeling that. But actually, envy is very instructive, because envy tells us something about desire. I always say to people: Follow your envy. It tells you what you want.” —Lori Gottlieb
Read More
Patience
“‘Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.” This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it’s hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy.” —Maria Popova’s blog, The Marginalian
Read More
Prioritizing Our Own Happiness
“If your happiness depends on your children being happy, that makes them your hostages. So stay out of their business, stop using them for your happiness, and be your own happiness. And that way you are the teacher for your children: someone who knows how to live a happy life.” —Byron Katie, from "Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie"
Read More
The Power of Presence
“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” —Jack Kornfield, from A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
Read More
An Expanded Universe
“The spiritual world provides a sense of wonder and a degree of open-mindedness not always found within the confines of science. The world of reason can be narrow and filled with dead ends, while a spiritual viewpoint is limitless and invites fantastic possibilities. The unseen world is boundless…“ —Rick Rubin, From The Creative Act: A Way of Being
Read More
Loyalty to Ourselves
“Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” — Glennon Doyle, from Untamed
Read More
Saying “Yes” to Life
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ― Eckhart Tolle
Read More
