The Power of Presence
“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” —Jack Kornfield, from A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life
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An Expanded Universe
“The spiritual world provides a sense of wonder and a degree of open-mindedness not always found within the confines of science. The world of reason can be narrow and filled with dead ends, while a spiritual viewpoint is limitless and invites fantastic possibilities. The unseen world is boundless…“ —Rick Rubin, From The Creative Act: A Way of Being
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Loyalty to Ourselves
“Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” — Glennon Doyle, from Untamed
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Saying “Yes” to Life
“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.” ― Eckhart Tolle
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Is Free-Thinking an Oxymoron?
“We seldom realize, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our society…” —Alan Watts, from The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are
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The Gift of Deep Listening
“I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it.” — Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D, from Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal
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The North Star of Habit Change
As a self-appointed “wisdom gatherer,” I’m always curious about the primary insights offered by self-help books that attain astronomical popularity. One such book is Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, by James Clear. Featuring the tagline “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results,” this book has sold over 10 million copies worldwide, and is still a #1 bestseller on Amazon five years after its release.
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Breaking Promises
Recently, David Whyte’s powerful poem, “To Break a Promise,” has inspired me to deeply ponder the nature of commitments. In a world that is constantly changing, is it always dishonorable to break a promise? When must we remain steadfast, and when should we muster the bravery, humility and fortitude to leave it behind?
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Boundless Love—Father Day 2023
With Father’s Day fast approaching, I’ve been thinking about the fathers in my life, and the different ways they love their children. Reminiscing about my relationship with my father, I am struck by the fact that he never seemed to care about my accomplishments in the outside world.
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The Best Relationship Advice Ever
The most helpful and transformative relationship advice I’ve ever received came from Dr. Becky Kennedy, the clinical psychologist and parenting expert who I’ve written about twice before. It’s a principle she calls “multiplicity” or “two things are true” mentality, which means being open to two or more seemingly oppositional realities being true at the same time.
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Cultivating Contentment
I heard the spiritual teacher Ram Dass speak in person only once. It was one of the first public talks he gave after suffering a severe stroke at age 65, leaving him dependent on caregivers for the rest of his life. Even though I sat in that audience almost a quarter-century ago, I still vividly recall the wisdom he shared that day.
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Rules for a Better Life
Mark Mason, who has sold 20 million books worldwide in 65 different languages, describes himself as a writer who’s been “giving life advice that doesn’t suck since 2008.” Having discovered many interesting insights and compelling quotes on his Instagram feed, today I’m happy to share one of his posts which I found both wise and intriguing.
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Making Peace with Your Body
Whether consciously or unconsciously, many of us are convinced that to be worthy of love and admiration we need to look a certain way—the way our current society deems ideal. This can make us feel shamefully lacking and lead to a highly critical and antagonistic relationship with our bodies.
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Mother’s Day 2023
At her essence, my mother is one of the most magnificent people I have ever known, but her life has been shaped by extreme, unresolved trauma. Despite how tender I feel toward her, I’ve simultaneously been experiencing a persistent drive to unearth and transform my emotional inheritance, as if my mother’s pending release from this life has to power to accelerate my own liberation.
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Tackling Body Shame
Last month, a few weeks before my granddaughter’s 13th birthday, I let her know that I decided to stop gushing about how pretty she looks every time I see her. Instead of focusing on how good she looks on the outside, I told Amada that I want to start focusing on how wonderful she is on the inside, and how happy I always feel when I see her.
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Everything is a Collaboration
Early this morning, as I gave our dogs Henry and Leo their first farm walk of the day, I thought about my father standing on the very same soil four decades ago, helping me and my husband build new supports for our raspberry plants. I can see him so clearly…relaxed, happy, and completely focused. He loved his work and never viewed it as a chore.
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Earth Day 2023
I’ve been trying to channel my eco-anxiety into reducing my environmental impact and doing more to support the Earth’s restoration, but prolonged anxiety is never the best solution. Not only does it feel terrible, it activates our stress hormones, drains our vitality and optimism, narrows our vision, and causes mental and emotional paralysis.
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Searching for Light in the Darkness
In honor of Holocaust Days of Remembrance week, which will be observed from April 16 to April 23, I’m sharing the first article I ever wrote about the Holocaust. It was motivated by my mother, who didn’t want to die before publicly thanking Sweden and Denmark for their life-saving rescue efforts and incredible generosity during World War II.
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Healing the Worry Habit
“Now that your worry has proved such an unlucrative business, why not find a better job?”—wrote the wise 14th century Persian poet, Hafiz. This question, posed 700 years ago, is still relevant. Even though we know worrying can’t protect us from experiencing life’s unavoidable difficulties, and even though it fuels our stress and our saps joy, why is the worry habit so hard to break?
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Aligning With Our Destiny
In astrology, Saturn is the planet of life lessons. I often think of Saturn as our hardest teacher—the one who keeps returning our term paper until we finally hand in our best work. Being in a Saturn return means that Saturn, having completed a full orbit around the Sun, has once again returned to where it was positioned when we were born.
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